Jet-set Kids~ my secrets to preparing little ones for big changes!

Ok, my title is a little ambitious. I admit it. When it comes to kids you really never know how each day will unfold. So I suppose that is how I see this upcoming change! When unpredictable kids meet unpredictable scenarios there may be only one solution... just let it unfold!

Let me back up a bit. If you are unsure of my current situation, let me inform you. I am a mother of 2 kids (ages 3 and nearly 5) and my husband and I will be moving to Thailand from Florida in 2-3 months. There is a lot to do, much to consider, and a huge responsibility that my children will not only survive this experience but benefit from it!

When Mike and I began this journey of serving overseas, we were without children. Hey, we didn't even have each other! We met through World Team (our sending organization) when we were single! Our considerations for our family went pretty much like this: Do you think we can find shoes in a men's 14 and women's 10? This was the biggest personal concern! Now, although that concern still remains (in Asia, I shop in the men's section only and Mike is out of luck), it is far down the list.

I know that any anxiety I have about moving my family to Asia is tapered by the fact that I (and countless) other families have done this before! It is possible to make a home where the heart is! Even in the States where this is my "home" we have lived in furnished housing for four years! Although we have been very blessed by these homes, I would never choose the couch I am sitting on right now. It is "foreign" to me, not my "style"etc.

Somehow, through all of the moving, Mike and I have managed to make a home wherever we hang our hats. I think this has been made possible by several factors:

1) We talk with the children about how blessed we are to have any home! That is by no means a certainty for anyone! Foreclosure is a very real thing.
2) We invite friends and loved ones to visit! (NOTE: Begin planning a visit to Thailand now!)
3) We have family dinners several times a week. Face time baby!
4) We go to the local library once a week. Libraries are gold mines for education and fun.
5) We find a church where we can belong (for however long we are there) and get involved. Although it is painful to leave precious new friends, I have never and will never regret having formed intimate relationships wherever I am placed.
6) We integrate the children into our discussions- Although they are only 3 and 5, they hear what we talk about. When they ask questions, we try to answer the best we can. As they get older, they will most likely be involved in the decision-making process.
7) Just in case they forget, we remind them where we have been. Will may not remember actually living in China, but he knows he did and is proud of that fact!
8) We prepare and think ahead whenever we can. Although I don't feel the need to entertain my children every minute, I try to be prepared for challenging times. My kids know I've got their back.

I honestly cannot wait to share this experience/adventure with my family! Susana has never lived overseas but with her spunky personality? She is gonna love it! Will is a pro- he will be brave and compassionate to those around him. Mike and I are so happy to have this opportunity to serve in Asia once more and our children will only enhance those opportunities!

Where was I 10 years ago...

October 2001- 10 years ago this month I discovered Asia. Yes yes I know, Asia was "discovered" thousands upon thousands of years ago. But until 10 years ago Asia had no place in my life... I am from the burbs. My idea of foreign at 25 was fortune cookies and Outback Steakhouse (note: am not dumping on Outback. Love me some Blooming Onion). I had no interest in Asia or the Silk Road. I had always felt called to serving others but Asia? NO. I had no particular hostility toward China but rather it just wasn't on my radar.

Then I heard about the Uyghurs... I mean Uigrrs... I mean Wee-gurs. The Who-zee-whats-zees? Whatever. The people of Central Asia. These people were literally on the other side of the world and God was calling me there. Surely I couldn't relate to them in any way. Surely God did not know what He was thinking on this one.

Then I went there.

These women became real. They became my friends. Their burdens became my burdens. Their hopes and dreams became mine as well. Then I had to leave. Believe me, I have tried to work out why God placed a Uyghur-shaped hole in my heart only to take it away. I grieved and I grieve still.

What has occurred over these last 10 years could never be captured in one blog post. I have just been through way too much. I am thankful for these lessons but find they are hard to capture... even if I had 1000 blog posts. They have to do with fear, letting go of fear, patience, disappointment, joy, beauty, disillusionment, false hope, love, friendship, dreams and life. I suppose we have all had to live through these things... Mine just didn't follow a straight line.

Maybe my life line is in fact a circle because in July I was blessed to visit Asia once more. Although it has been years, I was able to visit with friends new and old and found that my love for this world and the people that live there is undiminished. I revisited the fact that when I left I worked so hard to let them go... and did such a terrible job. I cannot seem to let them go. So now, I realized that I'm not going to.

I find love for them has not waned... and although we wander a lot (hence www.wanderingrileys.com) my heart does not.

insecurity breeds all kinds of nonsense

So I could say that I haven't written in awhile because I didn't have internet. I could say that I moved house a couple weeks ago and I couldn't find my power cord. I could say that I have been crazy busy and just haven't had time. I could say that my guinea pig ate my homework.

I could say all of those things- and they'd ALL be true (well maybe the last was a stretch). However, I think my lack of communication more has to do with what moving/change does to your phyche. It breeds insecurity which breeds all kinds of nonsense.

I am not an insecure person. At least, not on a regular basis. But change may be the reason that I have had little to say that I can actually articulate. Normally, an out-going person like myself can just lay it all out there. Well, I may be the exception. I clam up. I clam up to the point that I don't even know what is wrong.

The source of my clam-up was insecurity. For the record, I am very annoyed with my insecurity. In fact, as I write this I am annoyed speaking about it. I don't like recognizing that it exists because it makes it feel like I am at the mercy of my emotions and I don't like to be at the mercy of anything but God himself.

But there it is. And it got me. It had me saying to myself that I have nothing to offer. It told me that I have no real future. It got me believing that everything I have done means nothing and never did.

SO ANNOYING. SO WRONG. STOP THE NONSENSE!

So i am back. stay tuned.

Humility, Humor & Honesty

A lot has been going on lately including a trip to Colorado to visit a dear friend. Since Mike and the kiddos stayed behind, my friend Georgina and I had lots of interrupted conversation. It. Was. Awesome. We talked about everything. Our families, friends, life, work, travel and most importantly our relationship with God and others.

One thing that really occurred to us was that in all of our relationships (God included) if we keep the following three things in mind, we can get far!!!

Humility, Humor & Honesty.

It is amazing how many walls will break down if we all employ these attributes...

Margin: what is it? how do I get it? is it even necessary?

MARGIN: for some reason I keep hearing this word lately- it's possible that I am saying it to myself but nevertheless it's there, ringing in my ear.

Dictionary.com defines margin as follows: an amount allowed or available beyond what is actually necessary. Today, I am thinking about margin in terms of applying it to our own personal time. So, as I understand it, margin with regard to time means that if I "have margin," I have extra time in my schedule, an "amount (of time) available beyond what I need." 


Now I ask you: Do you have margin? Do you/we need margin? Why? The reason I am asking is because I feel like I should have margin but I really don't. Two things happened recently to make me examine my (lack of) margin.

1. At the missions conference I attended recently, the speaker discussed the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10). This story is just filled with busy, important people- they saw the injured man but just couldn't be bothered-OR did they just not have any margin?! 
2. About a week ago my sister saw a woman crying by the side of the road and she just couldn't drive by. She tried to help the woman but the woman didn't want any help. She had had a fight with her husband and he had just kicked her out of the house and she didn't have anywhere to go so she was just sitting there, on the sidewalk, crying. She was thankful to Tiff but didn't want to leave her kids behind; her husband will let her back in eventually. My sister couldn't help her but she didn't pass her by either.

As I have thought about both of these scenarios, I ask myself: would I have stopped? Am I a selfish person if I hadn't? If I am being really honest here I think the answers are No to the first and No* to the second (notice the astrix). This is tricky because in 2011 there are 1000s reasons to drive right on by and only a handful of reasons to stop. We really need to examine why we are passing by human need so easily?


I would venture to say that we have no margin.  We are good people, we are Christians, we care about other's suffering and needs but we have no extra time to address these injustices. People, you and I need to MAKE TIME. CREATE MARGIN. Leave that door open so we can be available to others when the Father leads! One thing I do know is my "No*" could quickly become a definitive yes if I am not actively examining my motives and actions.


The missionary said one other thing: Do not pass by the reality of human need in 4 major areas: Family, the Church, our Community, and the World. Do you know the names and needs of your neighbors?


How to create margin: Say no. If you must say yes, wait 24 hours- you may change your mind. If you have any other ideas, please comment!!!

Our house in San Jose, Costa Rica... We always left our door open.

God Doesn't Wear a Watch

Originally posted on our website February 9, 2011
I have been excited about this opportunity to blog a little bit and what I want to share today just wouldn't let me go... so I guess that means it's blog-worthy?!

So I love watches. I love to make lists, calenders, charts. I love to check things off and then I like to look at the list with all the checks and smile. ahhhh... the thought of that just makes me happy! While training for the NYC marathon, I enjoyed following the training chart set out for me and even though there were always difficult runs on the horizon (20-miler anyone?!) I loved knowing what was coming, what was expected of me, and how I was gonna get that marathon under my belt!

The thing is, although I know the Father loves to see us accomplish our goals, his process and end goals are not mine. His "watch" looks way WAY different. 

I have been encouraged this week by two passages:

Exodus 2:10-15- Moses gets "kicked out" of Egypt (hmmm sounds a little familiar) and verse 15 ends with him just sittin' by a well with no idea what he is supposed to do next!

Hebrews 11:8- By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. Yup. Had no idea where he was going. NOT A CLUE. 

These men were loved by God and but had times where things didn't quite add up. The timing seemed "off." It would have been easy to fall into those feelings of homelessness, loneliness, and directionlessness.... Is directionlessness a word?!... well I'm makin' it one :) These men chose to have faith in God, to follow in times of uncertainty and believe that God would provide.

Nope. God doesn't wear a watch... His timing is perfect.

A Perscription for Contentment

Originally posted on our website March 15, 2011
On September 15, 1999 I lost my dear friend Kim Jones in a tragic event. The weeks that followed were mostly a blur of tears, questions and prayers except for a few key events that made a huge impression on me. One of those came in the form on an e-mail from Kim's dad Stan. When he returned to the family home after the funeral he went into Kim's room and found some profound words written on the back of her bedroom door. After finding these precious words, he e-mailed me to share about it. Over the years, I lost that email and was very sad about it! The words spoke about being content but I had often thought about that email: what were those exact words??

This last week in Houston afforded me a special privilege of visiting Kim's parents once again. Stan, Stephanie and Kim's brother Tim are extremely special people and have been such an encouragement to me through these years. I absolutely adore them and every time I see them, I feel loved, encouraged and thankful to know them.

On this particular visit Stephanie gave me a book (among other words of wisdom) called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. She told me Kim had read this book and really loved it. It had encouraged her through the years and everyone she shared it with. She also told me that Kim herself said "Mom, this book is very powerful and would change our world if the people that read it would really live it out in their day-to-day lives."

Well, today I cracked this book for myself and was absolutely floored to discover the following words:

A Prescription for Contentment

• Never allow yourself to complain about anything- not even the weather.
• Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
• Never compare your lot with another's.
• Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
• Never dwell on tomorrow- remember that (tomorrow) is God's, not ours.

Unbelievably, these were the words Stan had sent me from Kim's bedroom door over 10 years ago. I have been challenged today and and sincerely pray that I can (once again) embrace these truths and move forward with a spirit of contentment.

If you are interested in reading this book with me, email me! If you are interested in learning more about my dear friend Kim Jones, please go to her website!