Outta gas and in the dirt. Where I find my joy.

When plans fail, who's to blame?!

Sometimes things just don't come together. As much as I plan out my days, activities, lessons, some days it just falls apart. Our societies are more and more built upon self-sufficiency. I don't know who started this lie but it is clear: you should be able to figure things out if you work hard enough.

When plans fail, who's to blame?! Me!!

I fall prey to this lie quite often. How do I know? Because when I have a day like the one I am about to describe, I panic and my inner-monologue/negative self talk goes ballistic.

Well, one particular day started like any other... busy. I got the kids ready for school and off they went. Since there are many conferences here in ChiangMai, I had been asked to lead worship. The only problem? It was at a conference center WAY out of town and Mike had the truck... leaving me with the motorbike.

I hopped on the bike- kinda excited for a "road trip" on the bike with the guitar strapped to my back. I clicked my helmet in place and turned the key.

Immediately the gas light began blinking. On no. It was early morning and unlike in the USA, most businesses don't open till 9 or 10 (even gas stations). Panic spread through me and the blame game commenced. "Who last rode the bike? Why oh why did I (or Mike) not add gas yesterday!!" The truth settled in. There was NO WAY I'd make it to the conference site without finding gas.

I set off in the direction of the conference and kept my eyes peeled. The kilometers racked up with no open gas stations. My head started to sweat under the helmet. I kept taking deep breaths and tried to suppress the panic growing within me. Finally I spotted a station. I pulled in and was informed there was "no gas". Um, what?! At first I hoped it was just a translation problem... but nope, they didn't have motorbike gas. The gas station attendant pointed me in the direction of a gas station. Off I went, in the wrong direction, white knuckled, in search of another gas station.

I rode along for a long time, seeing nothing, despite my desperate panic-stricken concentration.

My thoughts went back and forth from prayers for help, to forming different excuses for missing the worship service, to cursing myself for the thoughtlessness of leaving a crucial part of my "plan" undone.

I was trying to serve and this was my reward? Seemed cruel... but it was my own fault right?!

I pulled over and asked a couple kids on a motorbike (who looked about 12 and 14) where to get gas. Thankfully they told me to follow them! Yea!!! We went back the way I had come (meaning I had missed it) and they pointed out a little "self-service" gas pump (see picture above).

Yea!! I did it! I did it! I could still make it on time, preserving my pride and reliability! I waved goodbye to the kids as I put the 100 Baht in the slot and grabbed the pump The kids rounded the bend and went out of sight as I pulled the handle... and nothing happened.

True story.

My happiness evaporated and was immediately replaced with self admonishment. Inner monologue: "What is wrong with this thing? Why can't I do this? There is no gas left in the tank to get anywhere at this point and I have NO IDEA where I am.... ok. breathe. Flag someone down cause you are an idiot."

I must have looked pretty sad cause another nice Thai man stopped and tried to help me. But the truth became obvious- gas station NUMBER 2 had no gas. I thanked the man and sent him on his way. What could he do?

As I was standing there, about to give up, the 2 kids on the bike returned! After getting a friend on the phone to properly translate, they told me they knew of another gas pump up the road and they could make it... I just needed to give them my bike and another 100 Baht.

That's it. Just hand the keys over and hold my breath. That's it. Well, I had zero options left but to trust these kids to help me.

I gave them the key and money and off down the road they went with my bike, my money, and the my last shred of self-sufficiency.

As I sat down in the dirt on the side of the road, I realized I had come to the end of my ability. Not only would I probably be late, I now most likely had my bike stolen.  But instead I smiled. I found a peace that happens when you cast your cares upon the One who shoulders the load. Perhaps this is why I love living overseas... I come to this place more often than I would back home.

I smiled. I found my humility and thankfulness on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere. My quest for self-reliance was a lonely road, full of white knuckles, panic attacks, and frustration. But in the dirt, alone and stranded and late and lost, I was thankful and I made sure God knew it.

3 minutes later, the kids came zipping up the road with smiles on their faces and gas in my tank. I gave 'em a tip and they set off down the road again.

I hopped on the bike- kinda excited that my "road trip" was a much bigger adventure than I originally intended but so blessed that my detour brought me to my knees. I clicked my helmet in place and turned the key.

Dengue Fever & French Cheese don't mix

Dengue fever coincided with a business trip to Paris... so my symptoms while apparent from the start masked themselves to me as having jetlag! After 3 days I realized that something was just not right with me…the “jetlag” got worse! 

Dengue fever is a tricky illness. You feel weird but since your throat isn’t sore and you have no runny nose, you must be fine!... But then it gets worse.

After talking with many friends here in Chiang Mai that have had it, there is a huge spectrum of severity. Many people require a hospital stay. I did not. However, my symptoms were pretty severe:

At the onset 

• I had a difficult time sleeping
• I developed a fever and was so cold! Coming from warm Chiang Mai, Thailand to “cold” Paris, France, I thought the cool air just didn’t agree with me!
• I began waking in the night soaked in sweat... several times at night.
• I was surrounded by rich cheeses, paté, wine, and bread... but I could hardly eat a thing.
• my eyes had difficulty focusing giving me terrible headaches every time I looked around or stared at my computer too long. 

4 days after developing the fever

• I woke up feeling immediately sick to my stomach. In the time it took to get from my bed to the bathroom I was drenched in sweat and vomited. 
• I developed a terrible rash beginning on my arms and legs. As the days went on, it extended all over my body (even the palms of my hands), becoming itchy and painful.
• I began to feel very weak and slow… which was very annoying because I had to travel home.
• Another weird symptom about Dengue is the emotional toll it takes! I began to feel very anxious and upset. Although I tried not to show it to my colleagues, I just wanted to go home and was really struggling to keep it together. However, arriving home did not solve the problem of emotional instability. Unfortunately this continues long after the rash goes away.

Arriving home to Chiang Mai

After a difficult journey home (thank goodness for aisle seats allowing me to run to the bathroom) I arrived very relieved… but still very sick. I still had a fever, the rash was getting worse, and despite my efforts to drink lots of water I was becoming very weak and dehydrated.

Mike took me to the hospital where they confirmed my Dengue case with a simple blood test. Thankfully the platelet levels in my blood were not at a serious level (this is what the virus attacks) so I could go home after they gave me an I.V. of liquids to help with my dehydration.

The next few days were spent lying around and sleeping. My fever finally went away but the rash got worse! I was told that this meant I was entering the “recovery stage” however it wasn’t that comforting because my hands and feet were swollen and extremely itchy.

Road to recovery

It’s been over a month now since that pesky skeeter (aka mosquito) bit me. It is amazing how a little creature can wreak havoc in your life! Wear bug repellant friends!!

I am doing well. My rash (for the most part) has gone away. My energy has slowly returned. I can concentrate and focus (for short periods of time) on important tasks. 

I am still a bit emotional and irritable much to Mike’s chagrin. Poor Mike. This too will eventually go away leaving me responsible for my own actions. Darn it! I liked saying “the Dengue made me do it!”

I’m not quite 100% yet but I will be because my appetite is back! Good thing I brought some French cheese home in my carry-on. :)

South Thailand summer trip photos

Hello friends,

Recently a friend of me passed a bunch of photos from our summer trip to the south of Thailand (HatYai area). It was a fantastic week of spending time in a village and teaching English at a local school. My friend is quite a talented photographer that captured a bunch of images of me interacting with the villages and children.

My Thai language skills are extremely limited but smiles, patience, and an attitude of humility go very far in this Malay/Thai Muslim community.

I cannot wait to return to this community where no one is a stranger and everyone eats from the same table. They share their crops, the workload, the care for children, and the hardships of life.

Easter scaled down...

The world "loves" Christmas. They decorate with twinkly lights and fake trees. In fact one company just took down their HOT-PINK 30-FOOT tree just a few weeks ago! Christmas is different wherever you celebrate it... but it is there. You see it happening around you.

Unlike Christmas these days, Easter is NOT a worldwide holiday... There is not a plastic egg in this town! There are no bunnies on the street corner or in the mall. Easter, is drastically different and is non-existent in many places.

Easter is special. Here are a few pics of our Easter holidays over the last few years. As you will see, they range from BIG to cold to hot to... atypical.

2005:









2008:





2010:


2011:









2013 was celebrated with an impromptu egg hunt in our front yard (if you are wondering the fruit hanging behind them is called Jack Fruit- it is soooo good):



With love & blessings,
DJ and the Wandering Rileys

Location:แก้วนวรัฐ ซอย 2,Wat Ket,Thailand

This last month was a wash!... And yet...

There is just so many things going on but that is just life right? We are always shuffling between several roles, holding many balls in the air, praying we don't get sick so it doesn't all come crashing down.

If this sounds depressing its not meant to be! Truthfully I like it that way. My only problem is keeping track of what is a priority and what is not. What is helpful and what is not. When the schedule changes how do you hold on?!

For example, my kids were mostly out of school for the last month! I was just getting used to the fact that I had time to think then BAM! We take a week to do a conference here, go off for an assignment there, then the school closes for "fall break"... And I am left saying "ok, I guess I'll pretty much call this month a wash!

I was totally out of sync, watching my days and opportunities fly by in a blur of kids and sticky hands. Then something happened! I realized that my kids just happen to be one of my greatest assets! We went to the market, shopped for art supplies, and made lots of new friends! We laughed, ate strange new foods, and nearly bought a bird instead of markers.



This is not a typical mom post where she praises her kids and talks about how great and special they are... well maybe it is.

With love & blessings,
DJ and the Wandering Rileys

Location:แก้วนวรัฐ ซอย 3,Wat Ket,Thailand

Truer words have never been spoken

At bedtime last night, my son prayed "God, please stop the bad people from killing with guns and drugs and knives and machetes. But God teach them about Jesus so they can stop doing those things."

Truer words have never been spoken- especially the part about machetes. ;)

Speaking as someone who has been scarred by a shooting tragedy, I am for more gun control in the US. BUT what really needs to happen is people putting themselves out there by sharing about Jesus coming to this crazy, depraved world to save us from hopelessness and give us life. Eternal life.

That is the hope for our country. That is the hope for this life.


With love & blessings,
DJ and the Wandering Rileys

Location:แก้วนวรัฐ ซอย 3,Wat Ket,Thailand

5th Language, 1st Love

Last week I began studying my 5th language. It hardly seems possible since I am so NOT a student.

However, I find I am we'll suited to learning languages- I enjoy meeting and spending time with people from cultures other than my own. I like to talk. I like to laugh... usually at myself as I attempt a new word or sound. I like to use the language by going out and trying (sometimes failing) new words and phrases. I also love music- and languages are VERY musical. You must listen to the musical qualities of language and do your best to mimic the sounds exactly. Fun right?! I think so!

So, as I said, I began studying my 5th language. But this just isn't any language. This is the language my heart has desired to learn for over 10 years. I just didn't have the opportunity until now.

Have you guessed which one yet? If you know me, you won't need to guess for long.





Beginning this journey gives me such joy- I am so thankful that the Father grants the desires of our hearts. Maybe not the timing we would like but we need to trust that His timing is perfect!

May His timing and blessings give you joy today!
Daniela

Location:แก้วนวรัฐ ซอย 3,Wat Ket,Thailand

Stay Cool.

I came across this simple message recently and at first I was thinking "wow! This really applies to my life over the last few years".

After all, if I can live in the vast number of situations and scenarios and settings as I have since Susi was born and still be positive about life and its future trajectory, I must be cool. Not freeze dried but cool.

However, I have also discovered that "staying cool" needs to also apply to my daily life... Something that I am quite sure I haven't worked out. Need proof? Just ride with me here in Thailand when we are trying to find a friends house. Without fail I am near tears every time by the time we arrive there (if we arrive at all). Many roads don't have names and landmarks are always changing...and I can no longer rely upon my iPhone map to get me there!!

For example, here are the directions we most recently attempted:
North on Mae Jo road through Mae Jo university area. At km11 (white ground post on right side of road....11 will be facing road side) pass the first U-turn and then take the 2nd U-Turn. Then take the 1st left heading east toward the mountains. Travel 6km crossing a canal and a rainbow fence. At the 'y' ....top of an incline, keep left and continue straight to a sharp left turn and a gate entering a mango orchard. Travel straight into the orchard keeping right next to the mountain. Follow road to our house. Call whenever you need to!

These directions are pretty typical. Notice after the first sentence there are no street names. Well, we found the "rainbow fence" but after that we were completely lost... For an hour... With no cell reception so we couldn't even call them! Needless to say, my ability to "stay cool" was left on the rainbow fence an hour back.

Well, we got there after our friend drove out looking for us. A little embarrassing. A little humbling. Perhaps exactly what I need.

Stay cool DJ. Stay cool.

With love & blessings,
DJ and the Wandering Rileys

Location:Chiang Mai,Thailand

Humanifesto- a poem of truth

This striking poem speaks of a sincere desire to live our life with purpose, to love God and to love our neighbor.

READ IT! READ IT OUT LOUD! It rocks and it will challenge you!

Humanifesto
-Gerard Kelly on The Door CD/DVD

I want to be a grace guerilla
no longer a chameleon of karma
the time has come to stand out from the crowd.
I want to give forgiveness a fighting chance of freeing me
I want to live in love
and live it out loud.

I want to drink deep of the foolishness of wisdom
instead of swallowing the wisdom of fools
I want to find a source in the deeper mines of meaning
to search out the unsearchable
to invoke the invisible
to choose the truth the TV hypnotists aren't screening.

No camouflage
no entourage
no smoothly fitting-in
I want a faith that goes further than face value
and a beauty that goes deeper than my skin.

I want to be untouched by my possessions
instead of being possessed by what I touch
to test the taste of having nothing to call mine
to hold consumption's cravings back
to be content with luck or lack
to live on water as well as on wine.

I want to spend myself on those I think might need me
not spend all I think I need on myself
I want my heart to be willing to make house calls.
Let those whose rope is at an end find in me a faithful friend
Let me be known as one who rebuilds broken walls.

No camouflage
no entourage
no smoothly fitting-in
I want a faith that goes further than face value
and a beauty that goes deeper than my skin.

I want to be centered outside the circle
to be chiseled by a different seam
I want to be seduced by another story
and drawn into a deeper dream
I want to be anchored in an undiscovered ocean
to revolve around an unfamiliar sun
a boom box tuned to an alternate station
a bullet fired from a different gun.

No camouflage
no entourage
no smoothly fitting-in
I want a faith that goes further than face value
and a beauty that goes deeper than my skin.




With love & blessings,
DJ and the Wandering Rileys

Location:Chiang Mai,Thailand

Motorbikes, Mangoes & Moouts

Moout?! Ok I'll get that one out the way right now. Moout is Thai for Ant. They are everywhere. If you leave something out or leave a trail of crumbs they come out in droves. Or even if you did put it away but didn't DOUBLE bag it, they find a way in. They are an army. Big ones. Small ones. Flying ones. Biting ones. And they are worse when it rains... And we just happen to be entering the rainy season. Awesome.

So, there's an adjustment to be made there! But living in Costa Rica prepared me for ants- I just have to get used to them again.

I suppose that is my plan: I just have to get used to _____ again. Because we have lived overseas before, we have realized that in order to thrive in a given place, you must make adjustments. Big ones. Small ones. Flying ones. Biting ones. Haha But the point is that adjustments must be made... And right now they are being made all the time.

Driving for instance. Although Mike and I both have operated vehicles for over 20 years, driving here involves some serious adjustments. For instance, rules of the road here are more like guidelines. Just let that soak in for a minute. You cannot rely on the rules to get you around. You must flow with the traffic and merge... While navigating narrow thruways, dogs lying in the streets, 1000s of motorbikes, and one small teeny fact that they drive on the other side of the road.

One fun adjustment is the food! For the most part we are pretty adventurous eaters! Even Susana has been willing to try different things- she loves mangoes and sticky rice! Will likes Thailand's signature dish, Pad Thai. Mike likes anything spicy- curries especially! My fave thing to eat here is Rotee- a street vendor food that is out of this world! Check out the link below to see how it's made!

http://www.gotpassport.org/2010/02/27/rotee/

One final adjustment, and perhaps the most important of all, is that I cannot solely rely on myself. I must rely on God and our friends here and back home to help us! Our interim years in the States allowed me to rely on myself way too much. I find peace when I give my doubts and fears to God and allow Him to adjust the scenario... Or more likely adjust me.

Motorbikes, Mangoes & Moouts: 3 of many adjustments we are making in this new place. But we are making them, one at a time. Soon this will feel like home every time we step out the door.... Or on a Moout. ;)




With love & blessings,
DJ and the Wandering Rileys

Location:Chiang Mai, THAILAND

Excitement and/or Anxiety?

Excitement and Anxiety.

In my case they appear to be the same thing. Since I am the mother in this rag tag group known as the Wandering Rileys, the last few months have been one long session of list-making of what needs to be done, what needs to be bought, what appointments need to be made, and what friends I have yet to connect with. I have been packing things bound for several places: Grandmas shed, garage sale, Thailand, giveaway, and trash.

Finally, and most sad, are the goodbyes. If you are one of the ones we have said goodbye to, we already miss you terribly and are finding it hard to look forward sometimes!

However, this is not my first time "out of the gate". I know that I can get suntan lotion and cinnamon where I'm going. I feel confident my kids will thrive where I'm going. I have friends where I'm going. And most importantly, we will not be forgotten by our beloved friends here in the US. Whew!

As we draw near to boarding plane for Thailand, the pressure to have it together grows. However the plain truth is that we fly out in 5 days. If I haven't done it (you can fill in the blank as to what "it" is) by now, chances are it isn't gonna happen now!

So, I suppose nothing is left but to hang on and enjoy the ride!

With love & blessings,
DJ and the Wandering Rileys

pic: Will and Susi at the Thai consulate in LA

Location:Long Beach, CA

Chaos theory: can we avoid it? Do we want to?

Chaos. The fear of the unknown. Control.

Although I have been living in what most everyone (including myself) sees as an unstable situation for awhile now (uh, years), I still am unable to calm some of my fears of the unknown and lack of control.

So, have run across several quotes in the past few days that have guided my thoughts (questions) on this subject:

Uyghur proverb- Keyerde gunah bolsa, shu yerde apet kup bolidu.
Where there is sin, there will be (are) lots of catastrophes.

Song of the Open Road by Walt Whitman
...however sweet these laid-up stores, however convenient this dwelling we cannot remain here, however welcome the hospitality that surrounds us we are permitted to receive it but for a little while... We will sail pathless and wild seas, we will go where the winds blow...

John 16:33
I have told you this so you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble, but be courageous- I have overcome the world!

When I combine these thoughts, I find I am not alone and I have no reason to fear. Yes, there is evil/sinful men around the bend, there is also evil in my backyard. I am called to be courageous and sail the wild (and potentially pathless- which is more intimidating than wild) seas.

Yes there may be chaos. There may be catastrophes. But He has ALREADY overcome the world!

Jet-set Kids~ my secrets to preparing little ones for big changes!

Ok, my title is a little ambitious. I admit it. When it comes to kids you really never know how each day will unfold. So I suppose that is how I see this upcoming change! When unpredictable kids meet unpredictable scenarios there may be only one solution... just let it unfold!

Let me back up a bit. If you are unsure of my current situation, let me inform you. I am a mother of 2 kids (ages 3 and nearly 5) and my husband and I will be moving to Thailand from Florida in 2-3 months. There is a lot to do, much to consider, and a huge responsibility that my children will not only survive this experience but benefit from it!

When Mike and I began this journey of serving overseas, we were without children. Hey, we didn't even have each other! We met through World Team (our sending organization) when we were single! Our considerations for our family went pretty much like this: Do you think we can find shoes in a men's 14 and women's 10? This was the biggest personal concern! Now, although that concern still remains (in Asia, I shop in the men's section only and Mike is out of luck), it is far down the list.

I know that any anxiety I have about moving my family to Asia is tapered by the fact that I (and countless) other families have done this before! It is possible to make a home where the heart is! Even in the States where this is my "home" we have lived in furnished housing for four years! Although we have been very blessed by these homes, I would never choose the couch I am sitting on right now. It is "foreign" to me, not my "style"etc.

Somehow, through all of the moving, Mike and I have managed to make a home wherever we hang our hats. I think this has been made possible by several factors:

1) We talk with the children about how blessed we are to have any home! That is by no means a certainty for anyone! Foreclosure is a very real thing.
2) We invite friends and loved ones to visit! (NOTE: Begin planning a visit to Thailand now!)
3) We have family dinners several times a week. Face time baby!
4) We go to the local library once a week. Libraries are gold mines for education and fun.
5) We find a church where we can belong (for however long we are there) and get involved. Although it is painful to leave precious new friends, I have never and will never regret having formed intimate relationships wherever I am placed.
6) We integrate the children into our discussions- Although they are only 3 and 5, they hear what we talk about. When they ask questions, we try to answer the best we can. As they get older, they will most likely be involved in the decision-making process.
7) Just in case they forget, we remind them where we have been. Will may not remember actually living in China, but he knows he did and is proud of that fact!
8) We prepare and think ahead whenever we can. Although I don't feel the need to entertain my children every minute, I try to be prepared for challenging times. My kids know I've got their back.

I honestly cannot wait to share this experience/adventure with my family! Susana has never lived overseas but with her spunky personality? She is gonna love it! Will is a pro- he will be brave and compassionate to those around him. Mike and I are so happy to have this opportunity to serve in Asia once more and our children will only enhance those opportunities!

Where was I 10 years ago...

October 2001- 10 years ago this month I discovered Asia. Yes yes I know, Asia was "discovered" thousands upon thousands of years ago. But until 10 years ago Asia had no place in my life... I am from the burbs. My idea of foreign at 25 was fortune cookies and Outback Steakhouse (note: am not dumping on Outback. Love me some Blooming Onion). I had no interest in Asia or the Silk Road. I had always felt called to serving others but Asia? NO. I had no particular hostility toward China but rather it just wasn't on my radar.

Then I heard about the Uyghurs... I mean Uigrrs... I mean Wee-gurs. The Who-zee-whats-zees? Whatever. The people of Central Asia. These people were literally on the other side of the world and God was calling me there. Surely I couldn't relate to them in any way. Surely God did not know what He was thinking on this one.

Then I went there.

These women became real. They became my friends. Their burdens became my burdens. Their hopes and dreams became mine as well. Then I had to leave. Believe me, I have tried to work out why God placed a Uyghur-shaped hole in my heart only to take it away. I grieved and I grieve still.

What has occurred over these last 10 years could never be captured in one blog post. I have just been through way too much. I am thankful for these lessons but find they are hard to capture... even if I had 1000 blog posts. They have to do with fear, letting go of fear, patience, disappointment, joy, beauty, disillusionment, false hope, love, friendship, dreams and life. I suppose we have all had to live through these things... Mine just didn't follow a straight line.

Maybe my life line is in fact a circle because in July I was blessed to visit Asia once more. Although it has been years, I was able to visit with friends new and old and found that my love for this world and the people that live there is undiminished. I revisited the fact that when I left I worked so hard to let them go... and did such a terrible job. I cannot seem to let them go. So now, I realized that I'm not going to.

I find love for them has not waned... and although we wander a lot (hence www.wanderingrileys.com) my heart does not.

insecurity breeds all kinds of nonsense

So I could say that I haven't written in awhile because I didn't have internet. I could say that I moved house a couple weeks ago and I couldn't find my power cord. I could say that I have been crazy busy and just haven't had time. I could say that my guinea pig ate my homework.

I could say all of those things- and they'd ALL be true (well maybe the last was a stretch). However, I think my lack of communication more has to do with what moving/change does to your phyche. It breeds insecurity which breeds all kinds of nonsense.

I am not an insecure person. At least, not on a regular basis. But change may be the reason that I have had little to say that I can actually articulate. Normally, an out-going person like myself can just lay it all out there. Well, I may be the exception. I clam up. I clam up to the point that I don't even know what is wrong.

The source of my clam-up was insecurity. For the record, I am very annoyed with my insecurity. In fact, as I write this I am annoyed speaking about it. I don't like recognizing that it exists because it makes it feel like I am at the mercy of my emotions and I don't like to be at the mercy of anything but God himself.

But there it is. And it got me. It had me saying to myself that I have nothing to offer. It told me that I have no real future. It got me believing that everything I have done means nothing and never did.

SO ANNOYING. SO WRONG. STOP THE NONSENSE!

So i am back. stay tuned.

Humility, Humor & Honesty

A lot has been going on lately including a trip to Colorado to visit a dear friend. Since Mike and the kiddos stayed behind, my friend Georgina and I had lots of interrupted conversation. It. Was. Awesome. We talked about everything. Our families, friends, life, work, travel and most importantly our relationship with God and others.

One thing that really occurred to us was that in all of our relationships (God included) if we keep the following three things in mind, we can get far!!!

Humility, Humor & Honesty.

It is amazing how many walls will break down if we all employ these attributes...

Margin: what is it? how do I get it? is it even necessary?

MARGIN: for some reason I keep hearing this word lately- it's possible that I am saying it to myself but nevertheless it's there, ringing in my ear.

Dictionary.com defines margin as follows: an amount allowed or available beyond what is actually necessary. Today, I am thinking about margin in terms of applying it to our own personal time. So, as I understand it, margin with regard to time means that if I "have margin," I have extra time in my schedule, an "amount (of time) available beyond what I need." 


Now I ask you: Do you have margin? Do you/we need margin? Why? The reason I am asking is because I feel like I should have margin but I really don't. Two things happened recently to make me examine my (lack of) margin.

1. At the missions conference I attended recently, the speaker discussed the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10). This story is just filled with busy, important people- they saw the injured man but just couldn't be bothered-OR did they just not have any margin?! 
2. About a week ago my sister saw a woman crying by the side of the road and she just couldn't drive by. She tried to help the woman but the woman didn't want any help. She had had a fight with her husband and he had just kicked her out of the house and she didn't have anywhere to go so she was just sitting there, on the sidewalk, crying. She was thankful to Tiff but didn't want to leave her kids behind; her husband will let her back in eventually. My sister couldn't help her but she didn't pass her by either.

As I have thought about both of these scenarios, I ask myself: would I have stopped? Am I a selfish person if I hadn't? If I am being really honest here I think the answers are No to the first and No* to the second (notice the astrix). This is tricky because in 2011 there are 1000s reasons to drive right on by and only a handful of reasons to stop. We really need to examine why we are passing by human need so easily?


I would venture to say that we have no margin.  We are good people, we are Christians, we care about other's suffering and needs but we have no extra time to address these injustices. People, you and I need to MAKE TIME. CREATE MARGIN. Leave that door open so we can be available to others when the Father leads! One thing I do know is my "No*" could quickly become a definitive yes if I am not actively examining my motives and actions.


The missionary said one other thing: Do not pass by the reality of human need in 4 major areas: Family, the Church, our Community, and the World. Do you know the names and needs of your neighbors?


How to create margin: Say no. If you must say yes, wait 24 hours- you may change your mind. If you have any other ideas, please comment!!!

Our house in San Jose, Costa Rica... We always left our door open.

God Doesn't Wear a Watch

Originally posted on our website February 9, 2011
I have been excited about this opportunity to blog a little bit and what I want to share today just wouldn't let me go... so I guess that means it's blog-worthy?!

So I love watches. I love to make lists, calenders, charts. I love to check things off and then I like to look at the list with all the checks and smile. ahhhh... the thought of that just makes me happy! While training for the NYC marathon, I enjoyed following the training chart set out for me and even though there were always difficult runs on the horizon (20-miler anyone?!) I loved knowing what was coming, what was expected of me, and how I was gonna get that marathon under my belt!

The thing is, although I know the Father loves to see us accomplish our goals, his process and end goals are not mine. His "watch" looks way WAY different. 

I have been encouraged this week by two passages:

Exodus 2:10-15- Moses gets "kicked out" of Egypt (hmmm sounds a little familiar) and verse 15 ends with him just sittin' by a well with no idea what he is supposed to do next!

Hebrews 11:8- By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. Yup. Had no idea where he was going. NOT A CLUE. 

These men were loved by God and but had times where things didn't quite add up. The timing seemed "off." It would have been easy to fall into those feelings of homelessness, loneliness, and directionlessness.... Is directionlessness a word?!... well I'm makin' it one :) These men chose to have faith in God, to follow in times of uncertainty and believe that God would provide.

Nope. God doesn't wear a watch... His timing is perfect.

A Perscription for Contentment

Originally posted on our website March 15, 2011
On September 15, 1999 I lost my dear friend Kim Jones in a tragic event. The weeks that followed were mostly a blur of tears, questions and prayers except for a few key events that made a huge impression on me. One of those came in the form on an e-mail from Kim's dad Stan. When he returned to the family home after the funeral he went into Kim's room and found some profound words written on the back of her bedroom door. After finding these precious words, he e-mailed me to share about it. Over the years, I lost that email and was very sad about it! The words spoke about being content but I had often thought about that email: what were those exact words??

This last week in Houston afforded me a special privilege of visiting Kim's parents once again. Stan, Stephanie and Kim's brother Tim are extremely special people and have been such an encouragement to me through these years. I absolutely adore them and every time I see them, I feel loved, encouraged and thankful to know them.

On this particular visit Stephanie gave me a book (among other words of wisdom) called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. She told me Kim had read this book and really loved it. It had encouraged her through the years and everyone she shared it with. She also told me that Kim herself said "Mom, this book is very powerful and would change our world if the people that read it would really live it out in their day-to-day lives."

Well, today I cracked this book for myself and was absolutely floored to discover the following words:

A Prescription for Contentment

• Never allow yourself to complain about anything- not even the weather.
• Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
• Never compare your lot with another's.
• Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
• Never dwell on tomorrow- remember that (tomorrow) is God's, not ours.

Unbelievably, these were the words Stan had sent me from Kim's bedroom door over 10 years ago. I have been challenged today and and sincerely pray that I can (once again) embrace these truths and move forward with a spirit of contentment.

If you are interested in reading this book with me, email me! If you are interested in learning more about my dear friend Kim Jones, please go to her website!