Outta gas and in the dirt. Where I find my joy.

When plans fail, who's to blame?!

Sometimes things just don't come together. As much as I plan out my days, activities, lessons, some days it just falls apart. Our societies are more and more built upon self-sufficiency. I don't know who started this lie but it is clear: you should be able to figure things out if you work hard enough.

When plans fail, who's to blame?! Me!!

I fall prey to this lie quite often. How do I know? Because when I have a day like the one I am about to describe, I panic and my inner-monologue/negative self talk goes ballistic.

Well, one particular day started like any other... busy. I got the kids ready for school and off they went. Since there are many conferences here in ChiangMai, I had been asked to lead worship. The only problem? It was at a conference center WAY out of town and Mike had the truck... leaving me with the motorbike.

I hopped on the bike- kinda excited for a "road trip" on the bike with the guitar strapped to my back. I clicked my helmet in place and turned the key.

Immediately the gas light began blinking. On no. It was early morning and unlike in the USA, most businesses don't open till 9 or 10 (even gas stations). Panic spread through me and the blame game commenced. "Who last rode the bike? Why oh why did I (or Mike) not add gas yesterday!!" The truth settled in. There was NO WAY I'd make it to the conference site without finding gas.

I set off in the direction of the conference and kept my eyes peeled. The kilometers racked up with no open gas stations. My head started to sweat under the helmet. I kept taking deep breaths and tried to suppress the panic growing within me. Finally I spotted a station. I pulled in and was informed there was "no gas". Um, what?! At first I hoped it was just a translation problem... but nope, they didn't have motorbike gas. The gas station attendant pointed me in the direction of a gas station. Off I went, in the wrong direction, white knuckled, in search of another gas station.

I rode along for a long time, seeing nothing, despite my desperate panic-stricken concentration.

My thoughts went back and forth from prayers for help, to forming different excuses for missing the worship service, to cursing myself for the thoughtlessness of leaving a crucial part of my "plan" undone.

I was trying to serve and this was my reward? Seemed cruel... but it was my own fault right?!

I pulled over and asked a couple kids on a motorbike (who looked about 12 and 14) where to get gas. Thankfully they told me to follow them! Yea!!! We went back the way I had come (meaning I had missed it) and they pointed out a little "self-service" gas pump (see picture above).

Yea!! I did it! I did it! I could still make it on time, preserving my pride and reliability! I waved goodbye to the kids as I put the 100 Baht in the slot and grabbed the pump The kids rounded the bend and went out of sight as I pulled the handle... and nothing happened.

True story.

My happiness evaporated and was immediately replaced with self admonishment. Inner monologue: "What is wrong with this thing? Why can't I do this? There is no gas left in the tank to get anywhere at this point and I have NO IDEA where I am.... ok. breathe. Flag someone down cause you are an idiot."

I must have looked pretty sad cause another nice Thai man stopped and tried to help me. But the truth became obvious- gas station NUMBER 2 had no gas. I thanked the man and sent him on his way. What could he do?

As I was standing there, about to give up, the 2 kids on the bike returned! After getting a friend on the phone to properly translate, they told me they knew of another gas pump up the road and they could make it... I just needed to give them my bike and another 100 Baht.

That's it. Just hand the keys over and hold my breath. That's it. Well, I had zero options left but to trust these kids to help me.

I gave them the key and money and off down the road they went with my bike, my money, and the my last shred of self-sufficiency.

As I sat down in the dirt on the side of the road, I realized I had come to the end of my ability. Not only would I probably be late, I now most likely had my bike stolen.  But instead I smiled. I found a peace that happens when you cast your cares upon the One who shoulders the load. Perhaps this is why I love living overseas... I come to this place more often than I would back home.

I smiled. I found my humility and thankfulness on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere. My quest for self-reliance was a lonely road, full of white knuckles, panic attacks, and frustration. But in the dirt, alone and stranded and late and lost, I was thankful and I made sure God knew it.

3 minutes later, the kids came zipping up the road with smiles on their faces and gas in my tank. I gave 'em a tip and they set off down the road again.

I hopped on the bike- kinda excited that my "road trip" was a much bigger adventure than I originally intended but so blessed that my detour brought me to my knees. I clicked my helmet in place and turned the key.

Dengue Fever & French Cheese don't mix

Dengue fever coincided with a business trip to Paris... so my symptoms while apparent from the start masked themselves to me as having jetlag! After 3 days I realized that something was just not right with me…the “jetlag” got worse! 

Dengue fever is a tricky illness. You feel weird but since your throat isn’t sore and you have no runny nose, you must be fine!... But then it gets worse.

After talking with many friends here in Chiang Mai that have had it, there is a huge spectrum of severity. Many people require a hospital stay. I did not. However, my symptoms were pretty severe:

At the onset 

• I had a difficult time sleeping
• I developed a fever and was so cold! Coming from warm Chiang Mai, Thailand to “cold” Paris, France, I thought the cool air just didn’t agree with me!
• I began waking in the night soaked in sweat... several times at night.
• I was surrounded by rich cheeses, paté, wine, and bread... but I could hardly eat a thing.
• my eyes had difficulty focusing giving me terrible headaches every time I looked around or stared at my computer too long. 

4 days after developing the fever

• I woke up feeling immediately sick to my stomach. In the time it took to get from my bed to the bathroom I was drenched in sweat and vomited. 
• I developed a terrible rash beginning on my arms and legs. As the days went on, it extended all over my body (even the palms of my hands), becoming itchy and painful.
• I began to feel very weak and slow… which was very annoying because I had to travel home.
• Another weird symptom about Dengue is the emotional toll it takes! I began to feel very anxious and upset. Although I tried not to show it to my colleagues, I just wanted to go home and was really struggling to keep it together. However, arriving home did not solve the problem of emotional instability. Unfortunately this continues long after the rash goes away.

Arriving home to Chiang Mai

After a difficult journey home (thank goodness for aisle seats allowing me to run to the bathroom) I arrived very relieved… but still very sick. I still had a fever, the rash was getting worse, and despite my efforts to drink lots of water I was becoming very weak and dehydrated.

Mike took me to the hospital where they confirmed my Dengue case with a simple blood test. Thankfully the platelet levels in my blood were not at a serious level (this is what the virus attacks) so I could go home after they gave me an I.V. of liquids to help with my dehydration.

The next few days were spent lying around and sleeping. My fever finally went away but the rash got worse! I was told that this meant I was entering the “recovery stage” however it wasn’t that comforting because my hands and feet were swollen and extremely itchy.

Road to recovery

It’s been over a month now since that pesky skeeter (aka mosquito) bit me. It is amazing how a little creature can wreak havoc in your life! Wear bug repellant friends!!

I am doing well. My rash (for the most part) has gone away. My energy has slowly returned. I can concentrate and focus (for short periods of time) on important tasks. 

I am still a bit emotional and irritable much to Mike’s chagrin. Poor Mike. This too will eventually go away leaving me responsible for my own actions. Darn it! I liked saying “the Dengue made me do it!”

I’m not quite 100% yet but I will be because my appetite is back! Good thing I brought some French cheese home in my carry-on. :)

South Thailand summer trip photos

Hello friends,

Recently a friend of me passed a bunch of photos from our summer trip to the south of Thailand (HatYai area). It was a fantastic week of spending time in a village and teaching English at a local school. My friend is quite a talented photographer that captured a bunch of images of me interacting with the villages and children.

My Thai language skills are extremely limited but smiles, patience, and an attitude of humility go very far in this Malay/Thai Muslim community.

I cannot wait to return to this community where no one is a stranger and everyone eats from the same table. They share their crops, the workload, the care for children, and the hardships of life.

Easter scaled down...

The world "loves" Christmas. They decorate with twinkly lights and fake trees. In fact one company just took down their HOT-PINK 30-FOOT tree just a few weeks ago! Christmas is different wherever you celebrate it... but it is there. You see it happening around you.

Unlike Christmas these days, Easter is NOT a worldwide holiday... There is not a plastic egg in this town! There are no bunnies on the street corner or in the mall. Easter, is drastically different and is non-existent in many places.

Easter is special. Here are a few pics of our Easter holidays over the last few years. As you will see, they range from BIG to cold to hot to... atypical.

2005:









2008:





2010:


2011:









2013 was celebrated with an impromptu egg hunt in our front yard (if you are wondering the fruit hanging behind them is called Jack Fruit- it is soooo good):



With love & blessings,
DJ and the Wandering Rileys

Location:แก้วนวรัฐ ซอย 2,Wat Ket,Thailand

This last month was a wash!... And yet...

There is just so many things going on but that is just life right? We are always shuffling between several roles, holding many balls in the air, praying we don't get sick so it doesn't all come crashing down.

If this sounds depressing its not meant to be! Truthfully I like it that way. My only problem is keeping track of what is a priority and what is not. What is helpful and what is not. When the schedule changes how do you hold on?!

For example, my kids were mostly out of school for the last month! I was just getting used to the fact that I had time to think then BAM! We take a week to do a conference here, go off for an assignment there, then the school closes for "fall break"... And I am left saying "ok, I guess I'll pretty much call this month a wash!

I was totally out of sync, watching my days and opportunities fly by in a blur of kids and sticky hands. Then something happened! I realized that my kids just happen to be one of my greatest assets! We went to the market, shopped for art supplies, and made lots of new friends! We laughed, ate strange new foods, and nearly bought a bird instead of markers.



This is not a typical mom post where she praises her kids and talks about how great and special they are... well maybe it is.

With love & blessings,
DJ and the Wandering Rileys

Location:แก้วนวรัฐ ซอย 3,Wat Ket,Thailand

Truer words have never been spoken

At bedtime last night, my son prayed "God, please stop the bad people from killing with guns and drugs and knives and machetes. But God teach them about Jesus so they can stop doing those things."

Truer words have never been spoken- especially the part about machetes. ;)

Speaking as someone who has been scarred by a shooting tragedy, I am for more gun control in the US. BUT what really needs to happen is people putting themselves out there by sharing about Jesus coming to this crazy, depraved world to save us from hopelessness and give us life. Eternal life.

That is the hope for our country. That is the hope for this life.


With love & blessings,
DJ and the Wandering Rileys

Location:แก้วนวรัฐ ซอย 3,Wat Ket,Thailand

5th Language, 1st Love

Last week I began studying my 5th language. It hardly seems possible since I am so NOT a student.

However, I find I am we'll suited to learning languages- I enjoy meeting and spending time with people from cultures other than my own. I like to talk. I like to laugh... usually at myself as I attempt a new word or sound. I like to use the language by going out and trying (sometimes failing) new words and phrases. I also love music- and languages are VERY musical. You must listen to the musical qualities of language and do your best to mimic the sounds exactly. Fun right?! I think so!

So, as I said, I began studying my 5th language. But this just isn't any language. This is the language my heart has desired to learn for over 10 years. I just didn't have the opportunity until now.

Have you guessed which one yet? If you know me, you won't need to guess for long.





Beginning this journey gives me such joy- I am so thankful that the Father grants the desires of our hearts. Maybe not the timing we would like but we need to trust that His timing is perfect!

May His timing and blessings give you joy today!
Daniela

Location:แก้วนวรัฐ ซอย 3,Wat Ket,Thailand